Benedryl, potato chips, and the road to re-discovery.

It's one am and I am up because I am having an allergic reaction to the dust mites that have built their kingdom in my room.  Everytime I return to my room, you'd think they'd greet me with a warm welcome, right?  Wrong.  They attack.  I have probably sneezed about twenty times in the last hour and my eyes are red and swollen.  I have decided to spend this time eating potato chips and blogging as I wait for the benedryl I just took to kick in.  It always knocks me out.  But none of this really matters.

What does matter...

The fact that I watched thee best movie I have ever seen last night. 

Eat Pray Love.  For those of you who haven't seen it, you must watch it!  This movie touched me deeper than any movie has before.  In fact, I never expect movies to touch me anymore because it's been such a long time since one has. 

This is my new favorite movie for so many reasons, but one of them is because of this quote: Balance is not letting anyone love you less than you love yourself.  For the past few years, I have struggled to respect myself and when one lacks self-respect, often they lack self-love as well.  Sadly, I have allowed many people (men...) to take advantage of me and treat me poorly.  I can't blame them though, because I didn't demand respect and I sought their love in all the wrong ways.  This movie helped me rediscover who I can be if I allow myself to heal.  I am so jaded from past experiences that could have easily been avoided if I had taken some time to get to know me and love me.  I am determined to find myself and love myself like never before, because we all deserve to love who we are.  Flaws and all. 

I named my blog after this movie because I decided all we really need in this life is food, God, and love (amor in spanish).  I plan to rediscover who I am through these things, just like Julia Roberts did in Eat Pray Love.  I am going to learn to cook a dish from a country I would love to visit; India.  I am going to spend more time pouring my heart out to God so my relationship with him will grow.  I am going to love my life and most importantly, myself.  I feel free.  I am done letting the pain others have inflicted upon my heart be the determining factor of how I feel for myself.  I am going to eat, pray, and love forever.